collapse

* Welcome!

* Important Links

* BR Councils

* COTM and TOTM

* COTY and TOTY

Character of the Year


Thread of the Year

* Affliates

Affiliate with Us

Blood Rites RPG

Listed At

RPG-D Nerd Listings

Our Affiliates

   

* Credits

RSS Feed  Facebook  Tumblr    E-Mail

Canon: © Anne Bishop
Board's Plot: Blood Rites
Points Scheme: Mother Night
Ratio System: Blood Rites

Blood Rites best viewed in Firefox.
Established February 2010
by Jamie, Gina & Bowie.


* Plot Information for Pruul

Seven children are destined to save Pruul and shake the traditions of the territory to their very core. In response, factions have broken the peace of a previously unified territory and violence has erupted across the dessert. It is a battle between the past and the future, the young and the old, and blood won’t stop seeping into the sand.
Culture of Pruul
Court of Pruul
Naming Conventions
Clans and Tribes
Recent History

* Welcome Guests

You are currently viewing our forum as a Guest. While you can see all we do, you can't participate. Please think about joining, we love new players. Click Here for more information.


Author Topic: Living with our Fears  (Read 542 times)

Description: Attn: Dinah

Offline Delara al-Latifh

  • Character Account
    • ss2pd
    • healer
    • Role

      Court Healer

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      EmberRose

    • Posts

      36

    • My enemy is Death

    • View Profile
Living with our Fears
« on: Apr 23, 19, 11:03:57 PM »
The lesson with Fate al-Izar had left Delara unsettled and unhappy. 

She’d brooded for days afterwards, lost in thought and just going through the motions of being Court Healer.  Most of her attention was on what she had seen and practiced.  She'd seen the looks from the other Healers, had been forced to assure Ebra that she really was okay and not spiraling into another bout of depression.  Though she hadn't missed the way he was lingering nearby since she'd come back from the lesson.

She hadn't spoken to anyone about what she'd seen or been taught.  No one except for Aahad anyway.  She'd discussed the entire experience with him in detail.  He wasn't a Healer but he was astute and she trusted his judgment.  There was just something about him that spoke to her and said he could be trusted.  It had been refreshing to find someone else who had similar concerns to the spells uses that she had.

Now with another day drawing to a close she was sitting at her desk in the main Healing tent, separated from the rest of the area but a curtain.  Her chin propped up by one hand as she stared at a fly in a jar watching it buzz from one side to another.  Ever since the lesson Delara had practiced the craft when she could as carefully as possible and with no little trepidation.  She could see the benefits offered if she could master it when it came to the threat of the worms.  It was just that she couldn’t get over the terror in the mare’s eyes as Fate had forced her to move like a puppet on a string.

This was a dangerous craft, in more ways than one.  Delara had nearly drained her own jewels to the point of breaking once already.  Which had not been fun or easy to explain to anyone without giving details about what exactly she had been up too.  She was loathe to experiment too much more without speaking with Dinah.  She'd meant to speak with her Queen when she'd gotten back from the lesson but they'd both been busy with other duties and she was loathe to interrupt her Queen while she was working.

Sighing she let her head thunk down on the desk she closed her eyes mentally running through her Queen’s schedule for the day.  Turning her head enough to see the clock she ran a quick calculation of meeting lengths and decided that if she was going to speak with Dinah she should go now.  It was past time for her to speak with Dinah about her concerns and it was clear that this was probably the only way she was going to get a moment with her incredibly busy Queen.

Snagging the jar with the fly off the desk and telling the Healers on duty that she would be back shortly she headed in the direction of the tent where Dinah held her audiences and court meetings.  If she got there quickly enough she should be able to slip in for a conversation between meetings.

Inclining her head to the guards she confirmed that only Dinah was present and slipped inside giving her Queen a quick bow before rising.  Jar clutched in one hand as the fingers on her other twined in her skirt, “Lady could I have a moment of your time?”



Freedom is found on Horseback

Offline Dinah al-Tabur

  • Character Account
    • ss2opal
    • bwq
    • Role

      Ruling Queen

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      halyonix

    • Posts

      171

    • Nevertheless, she persisted...

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 19, 04:18:10 PM »
There was no end to being a Queen.

There were times when Dinah was allowed to shrug off the mantle of responsibility and simply enjoy life, but it felt as though lately, those times were growing scarce. Her day, from start to finish, was organized into neat little blocks of appointments, meetings, dinners, paperwork, etc. and then, after those Queenly duties were done, Dinah then organized her remaining time around the people most important to her, mostly Kazim.

There were days, like today, when she swore that her schedule was constantly so loaded for the sole purpose of getting her to break and then having her father convince the council that another should be Queen.

Dinah exhaled. Those thoughts, however true they may or may not be, would not help her, not in the present and not in the long run.

Her eyes were closed when she heard the rustle of the tent flap, indicating someone was entering her chambers. Her eyes snapped open instantly, worried that it was her father, the Steward, coming in to begin whatever next argument they were bound to have. Dinah could not remember the last time they had had a civil conversation with each other. Why Dinah did not dismiss him was…complicated. And not a problem to be solved today.

When she recognized Delara slipping into the space, she immediately relaxed. “Please, come in,” she said with heartfelt warmth. “You can have all of the moments of my time,” she said in light jest, smiling. “You are far more welcome to them than some others.”

Taking that interruption as a moment to care for herself as well, Dinah poured some herbal tea and gathered a few nibbles on to a plate. Both refreshments had been left out for her sometime earlier that day and their untouched state was indicating of how busy Dinah had been. She was always one to forego taking care of herself in favor of everyone else. “Help yourself, please,” she said to Delara, motioning towards the remaining food.

She sat gracefully on the cushions across from her Healer and, after taking a delicate bite of food, asked, “What can I do for you today, Delara?” If she noticed the jar, she made no mention of it. Her attention was on Delara solely.

Offline Delara al-Latifh

  • Character Account
    • ss2pd
    • healer
    • Role

      Court Healer

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      EmberRose

    • Posts

      36

    • My enemy is Death

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #2 on: Jul 09, 19, 11:28:23 PM »
Delara couldn't help but smile at Dinah's light jest as she moved to join her, and at the same time felt a little bad about running to her Queen with her concerns.  Dinah had so much on her plate already. 

She hesitated for just a moment before giving herself a mental shake, she needed advice and to pass on her own concerns before she continued experimenting, "I would be happy to take up some of your time each day Lady if you would like a break from everyone else.  We wouldn't even have to talk I could just sit with you so that you have an excuse to take some time to take a break."

Setting the jar containing the fly to the side to use later as a demonstration she poured herself a cup of tea but forgo making a plate as she took a sip before lowering it, hands wrapped around the cup as she gathered her thoughts, "I am sorry to say that today at least I have some concerns I'd like to air.  I don't know what you've heard about the lessons at the new Healing school or what rumors about the lessons have drifted out into the city.  I'm not really a people person so I don't pay much attention to gossip.  I received an invitation to the lessons and I've been attending them, I'm always eager to learn new techniques so I can help the Clan, I want to be the best Court Healer I can be."

Swallowing nervously, and ignoring the buzzing of the fly that seemed to fill her mind, she closed her eyes for a moment before meeting Dinah's eyes with her own bright blue ones, "Sorry.  I'm rambling.  It's just that I'm not really sure how to explain this.  I'm sure you heard the rumors about how Fate al-Izar stopped a worm from rampaging by using craft.  I personally didn't believe them, everyone knows that craft doesn't work on the worms.  Now. . . I don't think she was lying.  Not after what she showed the class."


"Lady I think she actually managed to stop a worm.  The demonstration she provided was quite . . . convincing."  Delara resolutely shoved the image of the terrified mare to the back of her mind as she continued she would focus on the positives of the spell first before explaining why she was so afraid of it, "What she showed us is incredible and could help protect the Tribe when we leave the city."

Picking up the jar with the fly she asked quietly, "Would you allow me to demonstrate?"

She waited for Dinah's assent before opening the jar and capturing the fly in one hand.  Delara tuned out the world as she focused on the tiny delicate network of the fly's body focusing on the neural network, such as it was, inside the little insect.  Slowly she threaded strands of her power through that network until she had control of the flies body.  This at least was getting easier with practice and they weren't exploding anymore.

She wasn't sure how much of what she'd done Dinah could see or sense, Aahad had seemed to grasp the basics and she hoped Dinah did as well.  Unfortunately maintaining the delicate control without killing the fly was consuming her concentration and she couldn't hold the spell and study her Queen's face at the same time.  She opened her hand and manipulated the fly into doing circles just above her hand before forcing it to go through a complicated aerial display ending with it landing on Dinah's hand and performing a figure eight before flying back into the jar.  Closing the lid she let out a breath, releasing the spell and wiped sweating palms on her skirts before gulping down the rest of the tea and pouring herself another cup.

Controlling the fly wasn't as draining on her jewel as trying to manipulate the bird or horse had been, but it was still mentally exhausting to hold the strands inside the flies body and to control it's actions without accidently killing it.  Feeling drained she took another sip to wet her dry mouth before continuing her eyes conveying the strain, "Fate showed us how she could control a horse using the same method.  She forced the mare to lay down on her back and extend her legs straight upward along with a few other things before releasing the spell."
 
Even recounting what she'd seen in passing made her uncomfortable and she didn't bother trying to keep that emotion from crossing her face as she continued.

"It drained her jewels and left her exhausted but she said the same technique was what she used against the worm.  Controlling the fly is the first step in the lessons and I've gotten better at that.  I tried moving onto slightly larger creatures  but I underestimated how quickly this technique would drain my jewels."

"I was. . . lucky that I realized what was happening before I broke them."  Delara admitted quietly ducking her head slightly and avoiding her Queen's gaze not wanting to see the disappointment and displeasure she was sure she would see there, "I passed out and one of the apprentice healers found me in the healing tent.  I asked her not to tell anyone what happened.  I didn't want to distract the Court or you especially with how busy you've been." 

"I should have been more careful but I want to master the basics of this technique before we leave the city and to be honest the way it drains my jewels isn't my greatest concern when it comes to this technique, Lady."




Freedom is found on Horseback

Offline Dinah al-Tabur

  • Character Account
    • ss2opal
    • bwq
    • Role

      Ruling Queen

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      halyonix

    • Posts

      171

    • Nevertheless, she persisted...

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #3 on: Aug 06, 19, 02:43:53 PM »
Dinah smiled thinly but genuinely as she took into Delara’s offer to just sit with her in companionable silence. That was actually a very good idea. Dinah knew that she struggled with carving out time for self-care and knew that the situation would not change unless she rearranged some priorities. But, unfortunately, there just seemed to be too much that needed to remain at a higher priority than a few minutes to enjoy the silence.

As Delara joined her and stated that she had some concerns to air, a worn mantle of emotional exhaustion settled around Dinah’s shoulders. The fly in the jar, initially drawing a curious look from the Queen, was now forgotten. “I had not heard about what was happening in the new Healing school,” she said to Delara, “though I would like to know. You are already a very good Healer.” But Dinah would always support another’s interest in bettering themselves.

She had only heard rumors – myth, really – of this woman, Fate al-Izar, and thus, Delara’s assertion that Fate had indeed controlled a sandworm still seemed a bit farfetched to Dinah. That was until Delara asked if she could show Dinah a demonstration. The Queen nodded her assent and settled into watching and learning.

At first, nothing happened. The fly stayed cupped in Delara’s hand as the Healer concentrated upon something that Dinah could not sense. But then, Delara’s hand opened, and the fly flew free.

…free?

No, there was something…unnatural…about its movement. It did not fly as erratically as most flies did. It flew like it had been trained to perform tricks for an audience. As Dinah watched, the fly did a complex dance of moves, then flew near to her, landed on her hand, and performed another aerial display before obediently landing in the jar.

The space was still in stunned silence.

Even as Delara went on to explain how Fate al-Izar had demonstrated this power with a horse, Dinah’s mind still reeled as she tried to fathom the implications of this sort of power. “How large of a creature can you control?” she asked. She noticed that her voice felt as drained as Delara’s face looked. Dinah could only imagine what emotions were written upon her face.

As she tried to comprehend how Delara had done it, two warring thoughts suddenly rose to the top of her thoughts, quickly accompanied by a dozen others.

They could control the worms. They could be free.

They should not go down this path. This sort of control was evil, an abomination.

They should explore this cautiously. Only one or two with the skill. 

What would her father think of this knowledge?

What would her people think of this power?

With every rank of power came responsibility and power could so easily be abused. Dinah could easily how such control could be lusted for by those with naked ambitions. “Is this an ability that only Healers can learn?” she asked, worried that someone like Shaula could come by the knowledge and use it to manipulate another. The idea of seeing someone moving so mechanically, so mindlessly, so robbed of their free will…

Dinah found herself nauseous and forced herself to take a deep, mindful breath. No, no matter what, Dinah would not allow this power to be abused. But what to do with it…now that was a great, troubling question to be answered.

Offline Delara al-Latifh

  • Character Account
    • ss2pd
    • healer
    • Role

      Court Healer

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      EmberRose

    • Posts

      36

    • My enemy is Death

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #4 on: Aug 31, 19, 07:14:29 PM »
Delara had to fight the urge to fidget as the silence hanging between the two women stretched on for what felt like an eternity but was perhaps just a few minutes.  She was relieved to see some of the same concerns she had echoed in the flickers of emotions that were running across Dinah's face. 

"I've managed the fly, a bird and a snake that I found in my tent yesterday.  I haven't attempted anything larger but I think I've mastered the basics enough that I could try a horse in a few days, maybe." She chewed on her lip for a moment, uneasy with the thought of doing something like that to one of the horses she cared for and if she was wrong and killed it she could take a much needed mount from the clan right before they left Onn.

"I've been leery of trying to control anything too large, it takes so much energy from me that I'm worried I could break my jewels or be incapacitated for several days."

"As for if another Caste can learn this skill, I don't believe so."  Delara frowned, "This ability requires an in depth knowledge of how the body functions, what nerves control what limbs, how the heart and lungs and brain all work together.  Then I have to be able to use that information to accurately create . . . strands that I have to weave into those systems to manipulate them.  If the creature I am controlling does something I don't want it to do I can simply pinch off those systems until they stop fighting me."

"I'm not certain another Caste would be able to feel those systems reliably enough to create the network needed to manipulate and control them.  It's almost like a very subtle twist of the basic Healing skills I use when I'm treating a wound, just twisted to do something else." 

Delara paused in thought for a moment, "I'm not really sure if I explained this right, but it's hard to really put what I'm doing into words.  I'm sorry."

Swallowing nervously Delara's fingers bunched in her skirt, "That is partially what I'm concerned about though Lady.  I think that even with just a few learning this there could be so many risks to other people.  Some of the Healers at the lessons were burning with a need for revenge and even if they just want to fight the worms how long before this spell is turned against other people that they don't like?"

"Even if all of the first Healers that learn this are honorable and never use this gift for anything other than a way to protect their clans we can't screen every Healer that learns this technique.  The knowledge exists now for better or worse, and I'm not certain every clan will be pure of heart enough to use it only against the worms." Delara's thoughts turned to the True Sabbah and all the harm they had already caused throughout Onn and to a young Queen in her own clan that she wouldn't trust with this knowledge if the entire fate of Pruul depended on telling her.

"I'm sorry to throw this at you now.  I know you have so much on your plate and I truly didn't want to add anything else to your plate, but I couldn't in good conscience not warn you of the potential dangers I can see on the horizon."
Sighing Delara ran a hand through her hair and rubbed at her eyes.

"What do you think we should do Lady?"  Delara's voice bordered on almost desperate as she looked Dinah in the eye, "I want to protect the clan but how do I know who to trust besides you?  Do you even want me to try teaching it to someone else?"


Freedom is found on Horseback

Offline Dinah al-Tabur

  • Character Account
    • ss2opal
    • bwq
    • Role

      Ruling Queen

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      halyonix

    • Posts

      171

    • Nevertheless, she persisted...

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #5 on: Sep 11, 19, 10:54:15 PM »
When Delara admitted that the aberrant Craft most likely could not be used outside of Healers due to its complexity and knowledge, Dinah visibly relaxed in relief. It was such dangerous knowledge already. Thankfully, Delara was a kind soul and Dinah could see that she honestly struggled with the ethics of this knowledge. The fact that she struggled told Dinah that Delara would most likely never use this sort of Craft for something so petty as revenge.

That it came with a cost also was relieving to hear, though Dinah’s brow knit in concern as Delara admitted that it could break her Jewels if she overstepped. “I do not want you attempting something beyond your capabilities,” Dinah said, her tone laced with worry. “It is not worth the loss of you.” Not Delara’s position as Court Healer – her as a person. Dinah made note to speak a quick word to Ebrahim. He would most certainly watch over Delara and keep her from trying anything reckless.

Once Delara was finished unloading all of this, Dinah answered, “You were right to bring this to me, Delara. It is…difficult, I can imagine.” She looked down at her hands in her lap and slowly slid the snaketooth from her ring finger. “When I was training to be a Black Widow, I…was not sure who I could tell beyond my mentor. Even Kazim, I questioned.” Briefly, yes, but she had still questioned it. When she looked back at Delara as the snaketooth slid back underneath her fingernail, there was a terrible grief in her eyes and she was not thinking of Kazim. She was thinking of her father. “We know so little about each other’s minds and motives. Who is to say who is true and who is not?” she said. 

Silence fell between them for a moment before Dinah continued. “You are right to have concerns. I have them as well. I…I do not think you should teach this Craft to anyone else. Yet. Let us explore it slowly. Just because we are able to do something does not mean that we should do it.” She paused and added in a lower tone, lowering her eyes in deep thought, “Let us hope that it will not come to you using it.” Using Saladin’s knowledge and a possible Tair guide or two, the Tabur, when they finally left Onn, would be traveling closer to mountainous paths, rather than venturing out into the everlasting desert. They would avoid the sandworms that way. And, if so, Delara’s knowledge would never need be tested.

Shelving that worry for another day, Dinah looked again at Delara. “But, if you ever need a safe space to practice, or for anything, you are more than welcome to interrupt my day. Trust me, I will most likely enjoy it far more than whatever work I am currently pressed to do.” Plus, Dinah liked spending time with Delara. Just having her around for a few minutes would be a bright beam of sunlight on the day.

Offline Delara al-Latifh

  • Character Account
    • ss2pd
    • healer
    • Role

      Court Healer

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      EmberRose

    • Posts

      36

    • My enemy is Death

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #6 on: Sep 22, 19, 08:17:59 PM »
Delara felt a bit embarrassed but also warmed by her Queen's concern when Dinah said this new craft wasn't worth the loss of her.  Especially when she felt like she was still trying to prove to herself, the Tribe and the Court that she deserved to hold her position in the Court.  It was nice to know that her Queen valued her as a person not just as the Court Healer.

The more Dinah spoke the more Delara relaxed.  It felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders the moment Dinah asked her not to teach anyone else.  That had been her greatest fear, that her Queen might want her to teach another Healer what she was still learning how to master.  Especially with how worried she was that this new Craft could be abused.  Feeling better that her Queen understood and shared her own concerns the tension in her shoulders vanished.  As Dinah finished talking about her own training as a Black Widow Delara couldn't help but reach out and touch fingers to the back of her Queen's hand for just a moment trying to offer some comfort to the other woman before drawing her hand back, her eyes were tear bright as she spoke, "I'm sorry you felt like you had to hide, but I think I can understand it a little.  I was so worried that you would be afraid of me after I showed you this that I didn't want to say anything.  You and Saladin, Kazim and Ebra you're . . . well I hope you won't mind if I say you've become like a family to me?  I don't really have anyone else now."

A bit embarrassed to have admitted that she cleared her throat and brushed a strand of hair behind one ear as she changed the subject back to a topic she was a bit more comfortable with.  Her eyes glinting with determination as she spoke, "I hope you're right and that I never have to use this and that we manage to avoid the worms completely but I'd like to keep practicing just in case.  If I can keep even one person from dying because of a worm, if I can protect the Tribe then no matter what price I pay it will have been worth it to me." 

When Dinah offered to help her practice, even if it was just by keeping an eye on her Delara brightened and smiled, "It would be nice to not have to hide while I'm practicing so I think I will take you up on that offer.  At least if I'm here with you Ebra won't yell at me for not being careful practicing this?"

Ebra was probably her best friend in the Tribe and Delara truly cared about her relationship with him.  Maybe at first it had been because she felt responsible for him as the Healer that had helped to rescue him but as time had passed, well she'd found a good friend in him.  One who was willing to listen to her ramble about Healing and Herbs and willing to give her tips on how to spot worms or pockets of trouble that she tended to miss completely.  He didn't seem to care that she was a little awkward in social situations either, which was nice.  She really didn't want him to be angry at her and it was that worry that had her plucking at a lose string on her skirt as she muttered, "Do you think he's going to yell at me if I tell him I passed out?" 






Freedom is found on Horseback

Offline Dinah al-Tabur

  • Character Account
    • ss2opal
    • bwq
    • Role

      Ruling Queen

    • Faction

      Tabur Clan

    • Territory

      Pruul

    • Character Sheet

      [Link]

    • OOC

      halyonix

    • Posts

      171

    • Nevertheless, she persisted...

    • View Profile
Re: Living with our Fears
« Reply #7 on: Oct 21, 19, 04:09:14 PM »
If Dinah’s smile was a hint sad at being able to relate to being without a family (even though she had one, she felt so different from them), that smile turned understanding and almost as determined as the glint that lit Delara’s eyes. Both women had come through many trials and were stronger for them, though Dinah hoped they would both find respite from those trials soon.

“Practice but let us hope that you will never have to use this Craft,” Dinah repeated, though with less worry as before. She would take on as much of the decision-making in the next few weeks as the clan traveled, relying upon the expertise of the sandriders that they had recruited from the ruined Tuono. And, hopefully, if all of that expertise was worth its water, the Tabur would never encounter that danger that

The subject of Ebra, with his honest but generally well-meaning way of caring for Queen and Healer, brought a laughing smile to Dinah’s face. “I believe he is entitled to a bit of yelling,” she lightly teased Delara. “Males, I am learning, are – within reason, of course. While Kazim does not yell at me, he does get a very cross look in his eyes whenever I push myself a bit too far in my studies or duties. At first, I found it exasperating but…after some time, I realized that he was trying to show how much he cared for my health when I did not care as for it as I should have.” With as close to a sly look as Dinah would ever use, she added, “Apparently, they value us,” as though it was some grand joke between them.

Just those few moments of vulnerability and humor did much to lighten the load Dinah felt on her shoulders. She truly needed to spend more time with Delara. Ever since she had lost her beloved handmaiden in the attack, the one that had taken her place was just…not the same. And Dinah, being surrounded by the males of her Circle and the males of her council for too many hours of the day, missed easygoing female company.

“But,” she added after a moment, “if Ebra becomes too much of a distraction while practicing, do let me know. I am certain that Kazim and Saladin can find sufficient studies for him as well.” Dinah made note to bring it up to both men the next time they spoke. She did not want Ebra to remain so untrained. He had been through so much already and, if he planned to remain with the Tabur, then he needed to learn additional skills to become a solid part of the team.

 

 

anything