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A naive Black Jeweled witch has destroyed the Territory Court. From its ashes a new court is being constructed, one run by a manipulative killer. As the blood runs in the streets of Goth from open gang warfare, the Steward of Little Terreille begins a gambit to rebuild the Territory from the ground up and challenge the Star of Kaeleer.
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Author Topic: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment  (Read 750 times)

Description: Tag: Lionel (Leo Eldridge)

Offline Elisabeth Carlisle

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Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« on: Jul 08, 18, 12:36:23 PM »
Locale: 193, Little Vaasa, Little Terreille.


Elisabeth did not look indoors at any of the buildings to look for Lord Leo Eldridge, aka Lionel Kelly. Instead, she checked every park that she could find in Little Vaasa, working from one end of the District to the other end. Duchess had literally set aside three days to search for the man, in hopes that she might be able to do something. What that might turn out to be as of yet when she had dressed that morning, very early and before the sun was clear in the sky, arranging her attire with its black cloak, neat floor length travelling skirt in a soft dove grey, white blouse, and a grey and silver embroidered vest paired with a small ladies pocket watch, the Black Widow was very much uncertain. What she did know was that she had this clear feeling that outside, in Little Vaasa, that she might find him. Every web she had decided to read told her, to look outdoors.

Trouble was, that many places had so many different outdoor areas. The morning passed her by without the slightest hint in the populace of moving people, but Duchess did manage to do a considerable amount of very beautiful sightseeing that brightened her mood, allowing her a hopeful feeling for the beginnings of the afternoon after a simple lunch at a pleasant café. Walks, park areas, pretty buildings façades, while the number of blondes in this area was relatively high. The number of people with blue eyes or some similar derivative was even higher, despite Little Terreille being a place with a sheer wealth of vast appearances.

So, the Black Widow delighted in noting all of the numbers of people that were not the man she had been seeking, yet were pleasant to people watch regardless. She counted and divided and catalogued, even as she remembered that the man that would not have been in hiding shared her Jewels, it did not mean that his alias did still. Eventually, she sat down on a bench that had the tiniest little brook and mini-bridge, over which were walking a series of Mallard Ducks. A drake, the female and their tiny ducklings soothed her fretful emotions. True, that she could have just sought out the Warlord at the Court of Lady Sheyla Grey, but the last thing she wanted to do was scare him at a safe haven.

Elisabeth did not want to assume at all that he remembered her, so the lady waited for some sign, a signal that he might be in the area, and thought to begin learning 'Leo Eldridge's' outdoor patterns. A Court visit would be the very last thing she might attempt, and the first day of a search wasn't remotely to that desperate point. She pulled a tiny book from her cloak pocket and immersed herself perhaps only halfway into the romantic novella she had been reading on the trip here to Little Vaasa.

I do hope he is still alright, but much of me very considerably has doubts of the likelihood, Duchess thought as her gaze and senses scanned her current surroundings, even as a page slowly and carefully turned. The hero of her book was skilled with two swords, not only one, making for an excellent fight scene. Like any lady considering herself more the graceful information procurer, she preferred her fights and battles in fiction, despite the often enthralling job for the Unchained. It had been a miracle lately, that being busy with the research Silver had asked of her, she hadn't seen even a fisticuff in a bar outside of a book. All in a good day of work, really, the refined Black Widow decided. "Where are you, good gentleman? Where may I find you?"


Offline Lionel Kelly

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #1 on: Aug 12, 18, 05:04:24 AM »
Lionel was not really sure who Leo Eldridge was but then there were still days that he questioned who he was until he saw Aleksy. In those moments he remembered, almost discovering it again as if it were new, that he was her Escort. That here in Little Vaasa, in Sanctuary, there was a place for him to be.

One that kept him from being just a ghost that worked worn trails into the ground from where he traveled over and over again. So Leo Eldridge became that functioning part of Court that Lionel was not. Leo could be a great many things, could be someone that the broken pieces of Lionel Kelly was no longer capable of being.

Or perhaps he was simply who Lionel Kelly had once been. A man who laughed and smiled and was full of devilish charm and was not afraid to do what needed to be done to help those that had fallen afoul Glacia's Dark Religion.  None of this mattered, not one bit, because right now he was Lionel Kelly.

There had been an errand to run, a matter to take care of while Aleksy was at the Bodleian. It was nothing time-sensitive, as that would have been handled by someone else because - as Lionel was currently proving - it was easy for him to get lost. Not within Sanctuary, not within the District, but within himself and those that were around him.

All because he had seen someone in the crowds. A flicker of dark blonde hair and bright blue eyes followed by the laughter of small children. Lionel had broken into a cold sweat then, palms pressed to his eyes as if he could push out the images that were burned into the back of them; the things that had been carved into his soul.

It meant he moved in an erratic path, trying to loop back to the Bodleian in such a way that the handsome monster with sharp teeth and pretty words would not follow him for all that there was absolutely no one at all following him. Bad days, such as this, came closer together after he had found that present waiting for him. Lionel Kelly was a dead thing, he told himself because that was better than the other thoughts in his head.

Flashes of things that he did not want to think about.

Eventually he had come to a brook and found himself caught again. It was the sound of water, the splashing of it, that brought him to an abrupt stop. Lionel did not even realize it was ducks, thinking instead of toddlers and water and-

Lionel Kelly wished he was Leo Eldrige because then these moments would not come.



Offline Elisabeth Carlisle

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #2 on: Sep 05, 18, 04:16:23 AM »
Elisabeth, Duchess of Ralington, and nominal "hero" of the Unchained - the latter tugged a smirk to the woman's face had nearly given up for that part of the day of finding any hint of Lord Leo at all. She'd turned her attention toward trying to feed said ducks, though they mostly paid her little enough mind until the lady heard the sound of what seemed to be quiet, anxious footsteps. She looked around, studying the park grounds furthest from her, only to find the man far closer than expected. The breath stilled from her lips, gloved hands twisting together as it was the sheer turmoil and confusion which assailed Duchess first.

There were a variety of options present here to perhaps draw the male in her direction, and Elisabeth knew immediately that Craft was not the way to go, not just yet. Straightening her hat, she realised that the ducks were clearly causing the man problems, that no doubt with the manner of his expression, he was seeing something else. The psychic scent alone and experience told the Black Widow that much, though even at this range of a few feet, she would have to intrude upon him to learn more. Elisabeth was very much unwilling to take such a path. She had quite a lot of cut grapes leftover from her lunch, and thus, aware that they were safe for this particular type of bird, mixed in a quality birdseed with the grapes.

Then, with delicate hints of Craft from her Rose Jewel, began to float the mixture in a path away from the water for the ducks, while softly humming. They began to make happy, excited sounds while eating her offerings. It seemed that the blend of a sweet treat and a nutritional one was just the trick, though the Lady realised that she ought not to have been surprised, really. Animals were not so different from humans on that scale, at least. A tiny runt duckling rolled part of the way to the food and was shoved and pecked at by its siblings.

"Ah, sweet darling, do not worry. There is enough for you too." She waited until the others were full, and tossed out a little more for that one, laughing when it too, began its meal. All the while, she carefully kept an eye on her real quarry. Leo, or Lionel. Her hope was whichever one he answered to, she would soon discover.


Offline Lionel Kelly

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #3 on: Sep 05, 18, 04:35:19 AM »
Lionel knew that voice and Leo did not. The schism was great at that moment, and Leo was just a figment of his imagination. Someone who he could be and someone he could not be all in one. It was habit that made him recognize the use of a Rose, made him tense and then relax because he knew a Rose like that.

Didn't he?

But there was still laughter and the splash of water and walks in the part with his hands busy because of toddlers. They had fed ducks and gotten wet and he had been so worried but Markus had whispered to him.

Don't worry, my little duckling, it is alright.

No, no, no ... That- Lionel pressed his hands to his temples, fingers beginning to dig. Not him, not now, because he was slipping and falling and he was supposed to be stronger than this.

"Duchess," his voice was hoarse, "Duchess." For all that he was lost, caught somewhere else that was not this place, Lionel at least grasped that one piece of reality. The sound of the ducks faded to something else, the sounds of eating? There was laughter as well, familiar and known, but it was fleeting. Lionel sunk downward into a crouch, hands still pressed to his head. He thought of the Priestess, the one that had spoken to him, the one that had asked questions and what had he done then?

Something he used to do. To reach out with his jewels, to let them slip in and curl around another, and pull at their emotions until they were his to control. It was how he helped, it was how he made sure they had been safe. It was how he had turned it all around on them until he- That was Lionel again, not Leo, and those thoughts made his stomach churn.

He just wanted it to stop.



Offline Elisabeth Carlisle

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #4 on: Feb 28, 19, 10:15:02 AM »
He was so very torn within and outside of himself, Elisabeth realised after some further observation. If the woman hadn't considered herself such a careful one in regards to emotions, she might have been the sort to have her eyes shimmer with tears in reaction to such a schism of the self. Lionel needed ever so badly to be put back together in such a way that whatever guilt or fear that had caused him to so sharply divide himself in the manner that he had, did not resurface some hours, minutes, or years later. Black Widow Craft, especially that which tended the mind was a very particular, delicate sort of business and each recipient, regardless of the severity of the case, was different.

"Yes," she called tenderly. "I am Duchess." She reached out to him with the entwined feeling of her own Rose and Purple Dusk, they were alike in that way, with the exception sadly that her own Jewels felt healthy and vibrant. The soft swish of her attire announced her presence along with her gentle and very prim, proper voice. "I know it is terribly hard for you right now, to focus on anything. But perhaps I can be some small constant, an anchor for your mind and heart. You are a good man, and I know that almost as well as anyone." She'd wait for him to accept her presence before offering any hint of physical touching, but the Black Widow sat right down on the grass where Lionel was kneeling.

"Dear man, its been absolutely ages, you, and that cleverness has been certainly missed," she said in warm conversational tones, offering a little more grounding into reality while slowly siphoning off the man's mental anguish so that he'd not go into shock more than had been the case already. What she wanted was for Lionel/Leo to remember that he trusted her to keep him safe as much as wherever he'd been the last while.

"I could read a romance to you, perhaps that one about the gentleman Professor and his beloved Master Librarian, an ever so shy and compassionate pair of men tiptoeing around each other, or we could play cards, my Lord?" She hoped he'd take her hands, as even for Blood that hadn't the least interest in the sensual, touch was very grounding and reaffirming and often helped in the midst of any kind of panic attack, especially when it was from someone known, safe, that would not trigger any of the bad thoughts. She used elegance and Protocol to try to turn him from whatever was haunting his inner self. Despite the fact that he seemed practically dead inside from his pain eating him as a feast, she knew there had to be dependency and compassion in the Warlord somewhere underneath all of the layers of traumatic memory. "It's ever so nice to be outside and in the sweet air, isn't it?"


Offline Lionel Kelly

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #5 on: Sep 30, 19, 12:29:53 AM »
The world was off-center but then that was the norm, wasn't it? There were the whispers and the ghosts that lurked and the things that dashed out of sight when he caught them out of the corner of his eye. So many things; too many things. Lionel could barely breathe, wanting to sink in upon himself.

Pull all that he was to the deepest parts and never return. What was it he had done? What was it she had done? She-- She had--

"I can't, I can't," he breathed out as if he did not hear her. "You can't, you can't." Except that he had, her request reverberating within him for all the other noise that threatened to drown him. Lionel's fingers clutched at the earth, digging lines with each clench into a fist. It was better that than wringing his hands together, hurting them all over.

Wasn't it?

But didn't he deserve it? The pain? This pain? Lionel so desperately wanted to be Leo but he couldn't be. Not like this, not nearly shattering all because of-- What? The trigger had been lost to him, just as surely as he felt lost within himself.

"I am not," murmured Lionel, though what he meant could have been any number of thing. That he was not good, that he was not clever, that he was not missed, that he was not-- A great shuddering breath was released, no longer seized within his chest. "I'm a dead thing, can't you see?" Even as her words, her actions, did not seem to reach him they did tug upon something deeper within.

Something buried and not oft found within himself. Not without some work to find it, at least.

There was dirt under his nails, soil upon his fingers, as Lionel jerkily stopped clawing at the earth. His hand inched forward--though he stayed with his head bowed in a crouch; face hidden--until the tip of a finger brushed against one of hers. A single-digit curled around the Duchess' finger, holding to it as a lifeline. It was all he could give, in this moment, as he tried to not simply sink.



Offline Elisabeth Carlisle

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #6 on: Sep 30, 19, 11:15:05 PM »
Lifeline. If Elisabeth had been less a disciplined woman and had faced fewer hurts than she had at a far younger age than she was now, perhaps she might have wept with the sweet Warlord before her. Instead, she knew she had to serve as his centre. When he insisted that he could not, that he was not, that he was a dead thing, she understood the truth of those statements as they meant at the moment to him and their myriad possibilities. She eased closer to him very slowly, allowing the single digit that he offered forth to rest against her own to serve as the weight to guide them both. The spread of dirt now under his fingernails, with gentle Rose Craft, she eased it away, leaving cleansed hands behind.

As they bore the precise same Jewels, the Black Widow knew that she had to be stunningly careful, more cautious and gentle in the attempt to even begin healing to get the dear man stable first. Her perfect skirts dragged in the grass and she paid it no mind as she both sight and aural shielded away from the world from them both. There were few people that would approach, note the significant scent of a Black Widow, and dare try to break them. "I understand, my sweet. You feel as though you are not, and will never be good enough for this world. Let me ease this pain for you. If there is one person you will always be good enough for, it is myself. Duchess. I will always see you."

She let her fingers wander over his hand, stroking so softly over the skin almost as if to be hardly touched at all. Elisabeth was damned cautious not to overstimulate the Warlord, but to try to ease him back to a reality that possessed far less suffering. For most people, she hated being personal, vulnerable. But for him, she would always do so. Just once, she wished she had such a man as a husband, someone gentle and caring as this man was. She removed the Craft illusions hiding her freckled face so that his seeing her was completely real.

But a Duchess could not marry beneath herself, could not fall in love with anyone save for on the shortest of lists. She drew closer until there was nothing but her in his senses to be noted, no ducks, no pond. Perhaps the grass, and safety. She could only pray he would not fight her as some patients did, and then began her work one wave of delicate Rose and Purple Dusk at a time. The first thing she did was to dampen the senses and emotional layers of memory driving him mad. She silenced them and did her very best to make certain to work with any healing that was already present if he had any.

"I am here for you. Always, my Lord." Only if he allowed her, and either calmed or collapsed, would be the moment where Duchess begin the painstakingly delicate process of sealing the hundreds of thousands of cracks in his chalice one single layer at a time with a maternally endearing tenderness. If she could coax him closer physically, Elisabeth would have held him and rocked the Warlord as she worked, stroking her perfectly manicured soft hands over his head and through his hair. "You sigh in the dark, and are suffering every moment with this pain, and we cannot allow it to tear at your mind and body any longer." She made absolutely certain to focus not upon how he became this way, but the precise clinical nature of the restoration.


Offline Lionel Kelly

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #7 on: Oct 16, 19, 11:46:07 PM »
Another time, another place, and the world disappearing away behind both Craft and the presence of the Duchess and Lionel might have come further undone. Instead, the void and the presence of someone who shared jewels made him breathe a little easier. It helped him feel as if there was a truth to his words.

He was finally dead and couldn't--

Couldn't what? That was the question. There was something he was to do, something he did not want to do, and--

A great shuddering breath was released as the Duchess's touch registered. It was a grinding point, Lionel's head raising to first look at her hand and then slowly her face. It was not her he saw, however, for all that she had removed the craft that had hid away her true face. When Lionel looked at her he saw Aleksy, face bloodied and eyes glassy.

"No, no, no, no, no-- Not her-- Please don't--" Despite the words, despite the panic that swelled up within him, Lionel did not shift away from Duchess. If anything it made him come closer, clutch at her in a way that was gentle for all of the intensity he showed. Lionel did not fight her at all, not physically or within his mind. His inner barriers were almost non-existent, barely held together by that of his Rose.

A whimper escaped as the thoughts--memories--seemed to darken and fade to the background. It was all too easy to see that there had only been the barest of healing done to his mind. That had been enough until something great had cracked within the deepest parts of him.

Lionel did collapse, face hiding in her lap and hands curling in the fabric of her skirts. He heard her words though he could not find his voice to respond. There was no point, not as she worked through the wreckage that was his mind. It was great and terrible, to see the damage done, and the way that his mind had--instead of breaking entirely--adapted and changed to better suit the preferences of--

A face flickered: brilliant blue eyes, golden hair, and a smile that would make some weak in the knees.

Lean in, it murmured, and Lionel trembled.



Offline Elisabeth Carlisle

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Re: Sigh, Suffering Every Moment
« Reply #8 on: Oct 17, 19, 08:46:10 AM »
Sometimes, mind healing was a rudimentary repair.

This was anything but, and instead was the scene of a true horror as far as anything could be considered beyond vile. It was a test for Elisabeth not to allow those feelings out as she saw and felt the destruction that had been made of the Warlord's mind. A wrongness as far as anything could be considered. She stroked Leo/Lionel's hair as gently as she possibly could as the man clung to her, clearly terrified that he would come to harm under her care and who could blame him!?

Sweet midnight skies, it was bad.

The only saving grace in the moment was the hint of Healing that had already been present, and the shreds of Rose holding his Self in place. As a clever mind healer, she built from that frame work, the strongest parts of it and strengthening what had weakened. Later, she would cry for him, but now was the time to mend. She threaded her way through those memories, the sheer agony of it cloying and clinging. The Black Widow had to ground her Craft and senses repeatedly in the here and now as she worked to keep from getting lost in the Warlord's head, or what there was of a headspace. She saw that it was incredible that his Jewels were intact, and that was the first thing that Elisabeth worked on, to make certain that the male would not break himself by accident while she worked in a sudden panic. She hummed softly, a soft lullaby that often soothed her children when they had been very small to keep him steady. Her hand soothed away shivers from his arched back when memories did rise.

Elisabeth did not take them away, but blunted the layered affect of each one, giving Leo/Lionel the ability to choose as she suspected that had been torn from him long ago. The lightness of her Jewels allowed the Black Widow to work with a delicate framework in mind, and that they shared the same Jewels made certain parts of the mind healing easier where it might have been roughly going. Sweat poured from her brow and she swiped it away with Basic Craft, not daring to waste even the smallest bit of her Jewels on anything but the man's mind before her. Breaths were heavy and the work, even this base tending was exhausting because due to the ease in causing harm; Elisabeth took the slow road to keep from that very action. One thread at a time, layering back together every bit of his inner barriers. The face in his mind made Elisabeth angry despite the startlingly handsome truth, and she carefully, painstakingly tore out that person who abused him as best she could --

Mother Night.

Abuse didn't really cover it. The word didn't encompass enough of the trauma. She pulled from her memories of the man as she had met him what now, seeing the wreck of his mind, a completely different lifetime ago. Elisabeth had to paint as if she were creating an entirely new person and it sickened her to need to do such a thing to repair a person from the inside out. It was not easy pulling apart the mess his mind was even to start with, but her Rose seemed to work the best for the delicate threads of Leo/Lionel's life. It was difficult to find the layers to tease apart the painful preferences, but she did so, one thread at a time. One sliver at a time, sliding through traps and twists and knots.

*Don't lean in. Stay in the Light.*

She could feel the creeping darkness in him, and knew it would take her much longer to be able to even start to untangle it. So coming to the end of her first attempts, Elisabeth shielded ... Lionel from those horrific barbs. She could almost feel the ice and cold of Glacia in her thoughts while easing the immense pain, and came to a halt to rest, watching Lord Kelly as that name jumped out at her while attending to him. She spoke it right into his thoughts, still connected, unwilling to let go and feeling ferociously protective.

*Come back to me, Lord Kelly. It is safe in the Light. I have you now.*

Hot tears finally slid down her face in seeing even the echo of what he had been through, the suffering. Elisabeth lifted the Warlord as best she could in her arms and rocked him, back and forth. There were not words that the Purple Dusk Black Widow could offer that would be enough, and worth the time he had suffered. Duchess found herself beyond sadness, if it were possible to feel such an emotion and survive it.

How had he survived?

The sheer strength of a person to endure such an undoing deserved only silence, unless Lionel wanted for more than that, more than her gentle singing. The best thing she could do was not make his pain about her feelings, so before he could hopefully see her, the Duchess scrubbed at her face, the freckles now red and her eyes rimmed as if she had been weeping. She'd had no idea what he had seen when he looked at her before, but given what had been in the man's mind ... it couldn't have been good by any stretch of the imagination.

"You are so strong, stay in the Light. Stay in the Light with me," she said in a tremulous voice, finally.